Thursday, December 18, 2008
Christmas Expectations

My "baby", aged 27 has arrived and has now zoomed off to spend the night with a friend, taking my car.-how normal- he'll be back in the morning.

The halls are decked.

I will see step kids, my kids, good friends and a kind hubby. I will lead a beautiful formal concert (the cello part) this Sunday which will be spectacular.I will hug my dogs and cat.

Then I will go to Seattle for a week to see grandbabies-who are now 4 and 7-not babies!

I feel tired, but also excited, thrilled, more than ready.

BUT
O God I want my baby boy back. I just want to see him, whatever he might be- babe in arms, funny schoolboy, ravaged schizophrenic- I will take anything. Please, please let him walk in the door with one of his wonderful Mom hugs.
Just one. Just once.

O Shawn, your Mommy loves you. I love you so much.

In the picture: Shawn aged about 6 and his adored big sister, Jenn, about 8, Christmas 1980


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