Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Blech and Grrrrr
Gloomy sort of day, no energy to speak of after several days of being really "up" and John chose to roll in an hour and a half "late", claiming that the fact that he normally gets in at either 5 or 7 PM, depending on the day, doesn't mean that 8:30 is "late". I KNOW that if I act all shitty and irritated, beyond a certain point (that is, WAY before the point at which I stop FEELING shitty and irritated )HE will get a lot more shi. and irr. than I am, for much longer, and this is not a road that I really want to start down, for my own comfort.

This is because I called him at work yesterday, which is an hour's commute away, because he left the interior light on in my car Sunday night and the battery was DEADER THAN A DOORNAIL 24 hours later when I had to:

1) go pick up my teaching assistant who was waiting outside her school-right then, so I could

2) teach for 2 hours starting right after that , and then

3) go to my orchestra (that I play in), right after THAT, for a dress rehearsal,

with no car.


There was NO time to call AAA or see if the neighbour could boost me or anything, - I had the Mom of a student pick my assistant up, 25 minutes late-so he VOLUNTEERED to come home and "bail me out" (??????who left the light on?????), but then he punishes me by "making up the time tonight",(which is bullshit, as he is a professor and can work or not work at any hour of any day or night), because he knows I worry like crazy when he is late since it can be a really nasty commute sometimes. Did he call to say he'd be late? Or say "Gee I am sorry to have put you to so much trouble?"

Can you say "passive- aggressive?"

In the past we would be having a huge fight by now. I guess that faking that I have stopped feeling SH. and IRR. is progress although I hate the way it feels to just swallow it.


Sunday, January 29, 2006
Straaaaange weather.....
Here we are, up in the frozen north, (ha ha); it is January 29th and it is pouring rain, above freezing, and we haven't had more than a dusting, as in, you could still see the grass through it, of snow on two days in November. If this is global warming, it is mighty scary. What a huge change is occurring in a short time- some years, like two years ago, there was snow on the ground on November 1st and it didn't melt till late March. THEN there were a couple of actual blizzards in April.

I am happy, in one way: no shovelling, no slogging around in the slush; most days you don't even need a hat or boots, but it is also sort of scary. This is totally unprecedented. People with young kids are bummed- the kids want/expect to go out and play in the snow- so they don't know what to do with themselves, standing around all bundled up in the MUD. This is the worst part. Usually, once the ground freezes, the dogs' feet don't need cleaning off in the winter, just a bit of drying off. But it has been mud city around here- EVERY time they come in, they are covered. Frankie is black, so it doesn't really show. Daisy, being a lovely blonde however, and shorter, has muddy spray up to her belly. Lake Ontario, which is right outside our door, has had NO ICE AT ALL. Not even a little along the shore.

There is a big surf tonight, coming up the lake from the south. A cozy night to stay in and watch Bleak House on TV. And eat yogurt, LOL.


Of blogs and organic maple yogurt
Saturday, January 28, 2006.

I am LOVING reading blogs lately, in the obsessive way I tend to do things. It all started when I was sick for several weeks in a functioning but draggy way, with enough time on my hands to read throught the entire archives of a couple of Mamas my daughter's age. It was very involving. I also, concurrently, have become addicted to this heavenly organic yogurt with nothing added to it except maple syrup that I have been buying at Whole Foods, so these two things are becoming hardwired together- I can hardly read a blog without my yogurt and a big spoon of a certain size.

I wanted to de-lurk in de-lurking week but what was I actually going to SAY??

"UM, hey, you guys, who by the way are all about the age of my daughter, I can really relate to a lot of what you are going through- really.....I mean, I WAS there (about two and a half decades ago, heh), but, hey I am still me..and it is nice to know that you guys can't be civil in a room with your Moms some days to save your lives- so maybe it's not all me after all on this end.....but why would you want to hang with your Mom, essentially, ie me?"

Or, "Hey, my youngest kid did that too and he's twenty four and really it is a non issue now, soooo....I guess it's a bit irrelevant now, (slinking away)

So, I lurk. But I like a lot of you guys out there!

In my teaching of cello, one of the nice things about it is the cross-gender, cross-age camaradery that develops among the students- they are kind -big kids to little ones-they encourage each other, it is a supportive environment that is beautiful and unique, at its best.

I guess I am deciding that maybe the best de-lurking for me might consist of putting myself out there a bit: writing some stuff of my own and seeing what happens.




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